You're NOT My Friend Anymore - Losing Friends for Your Mental Health

"You're NOT My Friend Anymore"

Losing Friends for Your Mental Health

It has happened to every one of us. We yell at our best friend that we don't want to be friends with them. This was typically followed by some crying, an older sibling or a friend telling us to make up, and then making up with our best friend and go off playing as if nothing had happened. It changes when you are a little bit older. Once we hit Junior High and High School, it becomes a little bit harder to make up with our friends after they have hurt us. We move past these friendships to new friendships. We think that, because we are older, more mature, these friends won't hurt us. If they do hurt us, we think that we will be able to get through this and save our friendships.

We forget to ask the question we asked right away when we fought with friends: Is this friendship worth salvaging? We don't want to ask ourselves this question. We don't want to lose another friend, especially once we have reached adulthood. We have lost so many friends to reach this position in life, we don't want to lose more. But, there are times when it is more beneficial to our lives to let go of the friends who are toxic to our lives.

Just Say "NO" to Toxic Friendships!

Recently, I, too, have had to remove a toxic friend from my life. Why? Because sometimes we need to put ourselves before others. When dealing with similar options, my girlfriend "J" and I got into a huge fight. I did not answer a phone call. I told her that I wouldn't because I could not mentally handle what I was dealing with AND what she was dealing with, it was too much. She did not see it that way. She saw it as me turning my back on her when she needed a friend. My mental health did not matter to her in that moment. When I removed her from my life as the fight became destructive, I realized something very important that I want to remind everyone reading this:

Your mental health is important, should be treated by others as important, and should be focused on to make better!

It is not easy to see when someone is toxic in our lives. Many times, these friendships begin like any other. We find things that we have in common and propel the friendship forward. We tell each other what we think about a situation and think that everything will continue to be fine. But there are warning signs for when a friendship is becoming toxic:

1) Their "Advice" Becomes Criticism

When a friendship is becoming toxic, the advice that this person gives you changes. Instead of giving you ideas on how to fix the situation, they begin to criticize aspects of your life. It doesn't feel like criticism at first. It's not until you begin to take the "advice" that we realize that, instead of helping the situation, our friend was really just trying to change us to better fit their mold.

2) They Put Their Feelings Above All Else

You pick up the phone, quickly dial their number (or hit their speed dial at a rapid pace), and expect your friend to answer and be there for you. What happens when the friendship becomes toxic? You explain that you need to talk to them about something important to you and, before you even get the chance to begin, they steal the conversation and make their feelings take priority.

3) Their Stress Becomes Your Stress

Like the way they begin to put their feelings before the feelings of others, the things that stress them, in their eyes, is more important than the things that are stressing you. This becomes something that they talk about all the time. They begin to get upset when you try to change the subject and they no longer help you work out what is stressing you. Now, instead of getting through what has been stressing you, you are concerned about what has been stressing them and how to fix it. But what about you?

4) They Do Not Actually Listen To Your Advice/Criticism

Everyone needs a friend who can criticize them in a helpful way. A toxic friend will 'listen' to what you have to say but not do anything with what you said. They will, instead, try to flip the situation and criticize aspects of your life - and not in a helpful way.

5) The Friendship Becomes More Like Work Than Like A Friendship

Friendships can be hard but there is a moment where we have to make the decision: Is it healthier to remain in this friendship or to call it quits? If you have to spend more time convincing yourself to make that call, answer the phone, or even send a simple text, this friendship has probably reached a toxic level. You should not be afraid to call a person that you trust to talk about your feelings or problems.

When a friendship becomes toxic, no matter how hard it may be to step away, your mental health will thank you in the long run. You no longer have to be afraid of that phone call. You can be excited for that raise at work - even though your friend does not have a job. You can be upset over your Significant Other doing something that upset you. You can go out with other friends without feeling guilty about not inviting your toxic friend.

No one likes losing a friend. No one likes losing a part of themselves - which is how it feels when losing a friend. But, when it comes to our mental health (and our health in general), we need to focus on bettering ourselves.

"On Sundays We Go Braless"

-Some of the reasons why going braless is good for you and the girls along with some fun stories from someone who enjoys the braless trend.

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Most people, though many will deny this, love a good trend. People want to try the new trend or love the make fun of the new trend. Some people just want to sit in the background and watch as the world adjusts to whatever new fad has made its way into the hearts of celebrities and normal people alike.

We have seen so many trends come and go; especially trends regarding health. From all of the “lose 10-lbs in 10 minutes” types of exercises and “helpful” diet pills down to the “love your stretch marks” trends, we have seen many sweep across the nation - from coast to coast - and rock the thoughts of members of society. What they once never even considered, people are now claiming that this is the miracle trend that everyone needed!

One of these trends has some people talking. A trend, truly only participated in by women, has many people changing the way that we look at ourselves. This is a trend that many of us are against at first. Many of us do not understand it because we have been fed lies over the years. Without giving away the name of the trend, here is something someone may say against this trend:

“But, I heard that if I don’t wear one the girls will be sagging by the time I’m 30!”

Do you know what trend this is yet? This is one of my, personal, favorites!

THE BRALESS TREND!

Now, I understand why we should wear bras. But many of those reasons are the same reasons why you may want to skip wearing one sometimes!

Reason One: Sagging

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One of the many reasons why we wear bras is due to the sagging of breasts. Sagging (or ptosis) is caused when the skin around our breasts are no longer as elastic. We were told that wearing this annoying contraption with an uncomfortable wire will help keep our girls from being “down to our knees”. But do you know what some of the causes of sagging are?

1. Exercise/Weight Loss
1. Exercise - Breasts jiggle and bounce when doing any form of exercise. This pulls on the skin which, in turn, will make it less elastic.
2. Weight Loss - Since breasts are primarily built up of fat, when we are working on losing weight, some of the weight will come from the breasts if there is nowhere else to pull from. Since your skin has already adjusted to your size, they will appear saggy since it no longer has the fat to keep it’s form.
2. Smoking
1. Smoking causes all sorts of health problems. It does not just affect the skin around your breasts - it affects the organ as a whole.
3. Having Large Breasts
1. Anyone with large breasts will tell you (I am one of those girls with my 34Ds on a 110lb frame) that they hurt and that they suck. THEY ARE HEAVY! They are a large weight on our chest - literally - that cause our backs to hurt. They hurt and if you do not have the right bra, it will only make matters worse.
4. Pregnancy
1. Your body changes - especially your breasts. They go from just collecting excess fat to being milk factories! They will swell. They will change sizes. But, because of this, it changes the elasticity of the skin around them - meaning they may appear to sag.

So, how can we go braless without worrying about sagging? When you go braless, your pectoral muscles have to work a little bit harder since the girls are now off having boisterous adventures (the bigger the boob, the mightier the bounce). Since they have to work harder, you will be building up these muscles (even just slightly). Building up these muscles will help keep them from sagging.

Reason Two: Back-pain

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Anyone and everyone has felt some form of back-pain in their lives. Men and women can feel back-pain. But, like with everything else in regards to our bodies, we each experience this pain differently. For many of us, having breasts (no matter what the size) can cause back-pain. For some people, wearing a bra causes them back-pain. This could be because of many reasons since each person is different.

Some people realize that going braless has helped with their back-pain. Some people cannot go braless because of their back-pain. If it hurts your back to not wear a bra, don’t be stupid and grin and bear it. Put the bra on for now and work on finding a better bra - or a better alternative - for you! Part of going braless is listening to your body and giving it the freedom it craves.

Reason Three: Expenses

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When my husband needs new undershirts or boxers he can walk into basically any store, grab a pack of each, pay and leave while only spending $20 maximum to come out with 10+ items from these 2 packs. But women do not really have that luxury. Of course, if we wanted to, we could buy a 5 pack of panties for under $10 but you will never find a bra for that cheap once you have graduated from the training bra.

The cheapest bra I have ever been able to buy since I began wearing them when I was 11 was about $10 because it was on clearance. I felt so lucky because, not only was it cheap, it was also cute! In department stores (i.e. JC Pennys, Macy’s, even Target and Wal-mart), it becomes hard to find anything other than black, white, nude, and other solid colors once you are looking for anything larger than a 34C (if you are lucky). So where do you go to find the cute bras? Well, you have to look at Victoria’s Secret, Aerie, and other lingerie stores. But, remember, these places come with a steep price tag. One bra alone can cost between $40-$60. Now, I don’t know about you, but as much as I love a cute bra, I cannot always justify the price of it.

The price of a good, cute bra can make or break someone’s bank.

Reason Four: Self-Esteem

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We know how the girls are supposed to look under a shirt when we are wearing a bra. It looks like we have a continuous rest for something - and this table does come in handy sometimes (popcorn, anyone?). But, when you don’t have a bra, it is clear how separated our breasts really are and they no longer seem to be the perfect sphere, allowing them to take their true shape. This difference can cause anxiety in one form or another for many people. This difference can be in direct correlation with their self-esteem.

We all have this innate feeling of wanting people to like us. We want people to like the way we look, talk, act. We want people to validate us. We want people to tell us that we are deserving of love and praise. We use other people’s validation to make us feel better. But what about the way we feel about ourselves? For some people, loving ourselves is the hardest thing to do. The way someone looks at us is all we care about. We will treat ourselves in the worst ways possible if it means others will like us.

But we need to be able to tell ourselves that the opinions of others do not truly matter. Changing the way that you look, changing the way that you are perceived by the world can help do this. Taking off your bra, even for one day, and letting the world see you in your natural glory can help you feel better about yourself.

For about a month now, I have been going braless every Sunday! I understand how drastic my appearance changes just by not wearing a bra. As uncomfortable as they can be, I will wear one Monday thru Friday because of work. I do not feel like dealing with whatever look I would get from my coworkers because I decided not to wear one.

I normally don’t wear one on the weekends when I am just hanging out at home. But I would throw one on if I was leaving. But, not on Sundays! Not anymore, anyway. It was a large adjustment - even for the one day. I understood that they were able to move freely. This meant that they would be bouncing quite a bit. If I changed up my stride, it was less noticeable or I could cross my arms over my chest. My husband would point out when I seemed self-conscious. But, that’s the thing, we are allowed to feel self-conscious when we are trying to change the way that we perceive ourselves.

I am personally going braless on Sundays because of the four reasons listed here. The main reason is to help with my self-esteem and confidence. I have already seen a change in myself and my attitude when going braless. A weight is being lifted from my shoulders gradually and I am starting to not care about what society thinks that I, a woman, should do. The time for change is always around us. It is now the time for us to decide what it is that we want from our bodies. It is time for us to fall in love with ourselves. The time for my change came a few weeks ago. The time for change may come for you at some point. When it does, welcome it - your ego will thank you.

Moon Rituals

Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with the moon. I was the type of person who loved watching the moon follow me while in a car, even into adulthood. If I had to walk outside at night, I directed my wishes to the moon to help grant me safe travels. Some people may not agree with that statement; it goes against their beliefs. The moon was something that I could see with my naked eye. Being able to see the moon - even during a new moon - helped me feel safe. I used this strength that I pulled from the moon, especially if I was in the direct beams from a full moon, to help guide me forward with no fear.

The moon is a wonderful, powerful thing. The power that the moon has, equal to that of the power of the sun in the spiritual side of life, can be harvested and used - both in the moment and at a later date. Each phase of the moon can lend its energy to a different type of ritual but I, personally, find that using new moon or full moon energies much stronger.

When it comes to my craft, I understand that there is a lot that I can do, a lot that I can learn. My craft is constantly changing but something always remains the same: the power of the moon will always be utilized. Even though I have quite some learning to continue to do, I would like to share a few rituals that I, myself, perform that are perfect during both a new moon and a full moon.


1) Moon Water



Moon water is a powerful tool in all types of rituals. Moon water can be used in cooking, teas, salves, medicines*, and so much more. The best part about it is that it is super simple to make! All you need is water from a clean source and a clear/silver jar. There are many people who will say that the clean source should strictly be from a living source (creek, stream, river, etc.) but there are many people who understand that sometimes you can only work with what you've got. Do not feel bad if you don't have access to that type of water. Do not feel bad that the only water you have access to is from the tap. You, working with the moon, put energy into the moon water. Your energy helps the strength of the moon water. Do not feel bad or feel as if you are doing it wrong. You will know when you use the water that you did it right.

What can you use Moon Water for?

• Ceremonies
• Cooking
• Spells
• Rituals
• Tea Leaves/Divination
• Tinctures, Salves, Medicines*

*I am in no way, shape, or form a medical practitioner. The statements that are contained in this post are strictly my own opinions. Use caution: do not do anything that your body cannot handle.


2) Spirit Writing



Spirit Writing, or Automatic Writing, is when you, to the best of your ability, shut off your conscious and allow your subconscious to grab hold of the pen. You write. Without even thinking about what is coming across the page, you allow yourself to open up to everything. This exercise is quite useful when you are feeling any form of stress. This exercise can help you see whatever it is that you have been trying to hide from yourself. This exercise is both beneficial to the mind and to the emotions. Even if it seems silly, it can help.

Benefits of doing this during a new or full moon:

• New Moons are largely associated with new beginnings. This is the perfect time to work on your own new beginning, in the spiritual sense. This is the perfect time to write out everything with nothing stopping you in order to put it to rest in the past. Whatever has been eating at you can finally be put aside and you can move on with ease.
• Full Moons are largely associated with maturity and growth. This is the perfect time to remember the path that you want to be on and throwing your energy into meeting your goals. Spirit Writing during a full moon can help you decipher ways to reach your end goal without anything stopping these thoughts. This is the time to put your best foot forward and keep moving in a positive direction.

3) Sage Cleansing

Sage is a wonderful herb. It is one of the strongest herbs in regards to cleansing the soul and instruments. You can use it to cleanse crystals. You can use it to cleanse the energies in an area. It has a soothing scent that leaves your senses all feeling fresh and clean. This type of cleansing has been used in many religions and traditions** for hundreds of years. 

**Many of these religions and traditions are part of closed practices/religions. When a religion or a practice is closed it means that, unless you have been initiated into the religion/coven/etc., you cannot perform this type of ritual. Most of the closed practices refer to this type of cleansing as 'smudging'. Please refrain from using the term 'smudging' and any other terms that are directly connected to a closed practice or religion.

4) Cleanse Your Tools

Your tools are used frequently. Your tools adapt their vibrations to the vibrations that you attune them to. You can change their vibrations at any time for any ritual. But sometimes, they need a break. When a tool doesn't feel right or it feels as if it cannot hold the energy the way it is supposed to, it probably just needs a nice cleansing. It just needs to attune to its correct vibration. The new moon and full moon are the perfect time to cleanse your tools.

These are only a few ways to practice magick during the full or new moon. Moon magick is extremely strong magick. These rituals are some of the easiest rituals that any stage of witch can perform!

13 Reasons Why: Would I Recommend It?

Unless you have lived under a rock, you must know about the Netflix series that dropped at the end of March. Everyone and their mother is interested in watching this show. Many people are unsure if they want to since it is quite a dark series. For others, the intensity and the dark concepts bring viewers in. I can honestly admit that I fall into the latter category.

Ever since I was in middle school I had always been pulled into a show or a movie because it had something to do with self-harm or suicide. This was probably because I had my own problems with self-harm and thoughts of suicide. Now, over 10 years later since middle school and with my problems under control, I still find myself interested in these types of shows and movies. The reason why is because I am curious about what pushed them to their limit. I know what had pushed me to mine but I had friends who, unknowingly at the time, pulled me back from the edge.

That is, basically, the whole premise of this show. For those of you who have not looked into this show or the book that it was based on this is the story of a teenage girl who commits suicide. Before the act, she takes the time to record on cassette tapes the 13 reasons why she did. These 13 reasons? The 13 people that she feels had a hand in her decision to commit suicide. The entire show revolves around Hannah Baker dealing with life before she commits suicide and all of the kids, all of her 13 reasons why dealing with the aftermath.

As stated before, I was interested in her reason why. So I joined the bandwagon and watched. The show itself flows very nicely. Netflix's writers were very intelligent on the way that they handled the episodes. Now, I haven't read the book so I don't know if the chapters of the book are set up the same way but for the show, each episode is connected to each tape. The show moves very smoothly and can be watched at whatever speed with no problems when picking it back up.

When I finally finished, I was asked by my roommate (who is not even close to interested in this show) if I would recommend it. Truthfully? No. I don't recommend it.

Now, before you attack me for not recommending it, I have reasons. Maybe not 13 but there are definite reasons.

*SPOILERS WILL BE WRITTEN AFTER THIS POINT!*

I am a 26-year-old female. I have had rumors spread about me (worse than the rumors that were spread about Hannah) that had been one of the main reasons for why I wanted to kill myself at the tender age of 14. I have been picked on, ridiculed, bullied beyond all belief. I have been hurt by people whom I believed were my friends. I have been date raped by someone and not truly told about it until months later. I understand what some of these characters have gone through because I have gone through it myself. Taking my experiences to heart while watching this show made it hit extra hard in some places.

Netflix is smart enough to place the "parental advisory" messages before some of the episodes. These episodes are the ones with rape scenes (and another one which will be part of another reason for why I do not recommend this show). These rape scenes are GRAPHIC. You don't see the actual penetration or anything like that but this is still a scene in a show where you are watching an underage girl being date raped by someone she thought was her friend. To make the first rape scene worse, we are being told what happens to this person by a girl who stood paralyzed in the closet with fear. Now, can I blame her for being so terrified that her anxiety did not allow her to intervene? No. I understand how anxiety can affect someone. What makes this entire situation not okay is that, instead of getting in touch with the authorities or even telling the girl what happened when she is conscious, our main character doesn't tell ANYONE what happened. Instead, she holds this knowledge in until making these tapes.

"Oh, but what can a teenage girl do after the fact?" you may ask. She could do what my friends did for me: tell the person what happened. I was told months later what happened because everyone thought that I had known and that I had been conscious. When it became known that I was blacked out and have no recollection of most of that night, I was informed what was done to me.

"But if the person doesn't want to believe it, why bother?" Whether or not the person who had the atrocity happen to them wants to believe the 'rumor' or not does not matter. What matters is that the person is being told that this happened. They now know, when conscious, that something may or may not have happened to them and they can go from there.

We watch a seemingly happy girl begin to go into a downward spiral. She doesn't know that she was raped, besides what she had heard on these tapes which anyone who had heard them is trying to pass off as a lie. It isn't until the end of the season that the truth fully comes out and you can visibly see her realize what has been making her go off the deep end. Could it have been avoided if she had been told sooner? Maybe. Getting over being date-raped is one of the harder obstacles that someone can face. But could being told sooner have helped her? Yes, yes it could have.

In another episode, we watch as Hannah, herself, is raped. As with the other scene, we do not see anything penetration wise. We do see, however, this larger, one year older guy grab her, turn her around, and rape her. The whole time she is trying to push him away. She tried to get out of the situation but he was still able to take what he wanted.

Is this an important issue for the middle and high school kids who are watching? YES. This is very important. These are the types of things that can happen to anyone. It doesn't matter age, race, gender, sexuality. Rape knows no bounds. Anyone and everyone can be raped.

But for someone like me, someone who needed to remove the headphones I was using and turn away from the screen as these scenes play out, these scenes are harder to stomach. It brings back memories of the night it happened to me. "But I thought you were blacked out when it happened?" That whole night for me was ruined the moment I heard what my ex-boyfriend had done to me. I cannot think of any happy memories from that night because it has been tainted with this black ooze that refuses to be cleaned.

One of the other reasons is because of her suicide scene. The writers for Netflix had been warned by Psychologists that they should not show the actual act of the suicide. They had been advised that this type of scene would trigger someone. They had been advised that showing it would be a bad idea. So, what does Netflix do? It shows her suicide.

Maybe that scene is the whole reason why they changed her suicide from overdosing on pills (book) to slitting her wrists in the bathtub (show). During the last episode, we watch as this 17-year-old girl fills her bathtub, gathers the razor blades that she had stolen from her parents' store, before finally entering the tub herself. It is clear that there is a moment of uncertainty before she takes the blade to her wrists and slices them open. The scene is very graphic and rather disturbing.

Was this scene necessary? No. Did they have to show her actually cutting her wrists open? No. Could they have just talked about the means that she chose somewhere else in the show? Yes. There were plenty of chances that the form of suicide could have been discussed.

For parents who don't want to watch this but your child does: I recommend that you watch it with them. I don't recommend this for you. I recommend this for your kid. This show touches upon so many important topics that your kid, after watching this, will undoubtedly have questions about. Talk to them. Make sure that they know that, no matter what, they can always come to you. Help them understand what they can do if they or a friend ever go through something that happened on the show.

For people like me who are thinking of jumping on the bandwagon: This show is much deeper and grittier than you think. If you could even remotely be triggered by the following, I do not think it is a good idea to watch this:
Bullying
Rumors
Slut Shaming
Self-Harm
Drunk Driving

I will admit that this was a good show. I know who I side with when it comes to the characters and I understand everything that was brought up and that had happened. I believe that this show can be important. But would I recommend it in a way that will make people think that it is suitable for everyone? Nope. Not a chance. This show is not meant for everyone. Many people will be triggered by this show and have to deal with whatever anxiety and depression that this show will inevitably reignite in them. This show is not for everyone.

The Breaking Point

Recently I have found myself under an astronomical amount of stress. Between making sure that all of the bills are paid, that I go to work every day because I cannot afford to miss more than one day a month (if that), and that we as a household are happy, I cannot seem to catch a break. One thing after the other is added to the large pile that has situated itself directly on my shoulders until I cannot physically hold myself up anymore.

The other night the members of my household got to witness what it is like when I have a full-blown anxiety attack. Since our house has been under so much stress, we are all on edge. My roommate was extremely mad when we came home from grabbing our other roommate and proceeded to tell us what had made him so mad. This, of course, sets me off even more than I had already been. This news had the potential to screw over each one of us. This news was enough to make me fear for my well-being more than I had already begun to fear for it before. My home was at stake with this news. I was broken. This had finally pushed me over the edge.

The moment that I had felt physical contact after learning of this, I could feel the precious glass case enclosing my feelings and emotions shatter. I had to tell myself to calm down. The moment that my fiance touched me, I broke completely. I cried. I cried hard. I cried for a while. My fiance very carefully lowered me to the ground when I could no longer hold myself up. I feel like I may have even passed out for just a moment.

Once the crying originally passed, I was still trapped in my mind on the floor in my living room. I didn't want to move. I wanted to make myself as small as I could possibly be. My mind did not allow me to move. Any movement was helped by my fiance. I wanted to crawl away where no one would be able to find me. If no one could find me, no one could hurt me.

This was all made worse when she came home. We were all in a pretty messed up place. It seemed like she understood that already or knew that no one wanted her around at that point in time. People who I have known for well over 10 years were seeing me in a state of vulnerability that I never wanted anyone to see me in. When she came home, I was back to the crying mess that I had been. I was having difficulty trying to catch my breath. I couldn't calm down. It just did not seem possible.

But, of course, like all anxiety attacks, it finally came to an end. But there is something that most people forget about when it comes to anxiety attacks: the aftermath.

When I, personally, have a full blown anxiety attack like I did that night, it seems to take my body and my psyche quite some time to recuperate.

See, I am a bottler. For those of you who are able to process your emotions in a healthy way: this means that I try to hold my negative feelings in for as long as I possibly can. I do not want to burden anyone with how I am feeling, especially when I know that they are going through their own problems. Instead, I just try to push these feelings as far down as I can. I will handle them another time. The only problem is, the only way that time is coming is when the feeling that I am trying to push down causes my bottle to explode. Once it starts, there's no stopping it. I have to cry. I have to hurt. I have to feel.

Add bouts of depression on to it and it makes the healing process take even longer. I am watching my anxiety become worse. It takes me longer to get over the smallest of things. Everything feels like a challenge. But I know that this will pass. It may take a little bit longer than the last severe anxiety attack that I had but I will heal.

So, for those of you battling your demons: I know that you can do it. Just keep taking one step at a time.

To the Boys/Men Upset that they are in the Friendzone

Dear Friendzoned Boy/Man,

Do you know what it truly means to us that we put you in the friendzone? I know that you would never put a girl in the friendzone so why would we do something so demeaning to you? Why on Earth do we choose to put you, a wonderful, caring human-being into the friendzone while we flaunt the unhealthy relationships that we chose over you in your face? How can we be so cruel and deceiving? We, women, are horrible creatures for not choosing you, the friend who has done so much to help us. Do you know what it truly means to the person who friendzoned you?

At some point in our relationship with you, you have shown us that you are someone that we can trust. Oh no, did my car break down and now I need a ride? You are the first person that we will think to call for help. What about when we fight with our significant others and need someone to vent to? Your number is dialed before we can eve stop ourselves. You have made the person who friendzoned you feel safe and secure. You did something that means far more to us than anything else. You are the person that we want to run to. In this case, there is always the chance that you will be chosen in the end but you are still in the friendzone and would need to wait for them to realize that they truly want to be with you.

But why do you get so upset because you had been placed in the friendzone? Is it because you have been put under the assumption that you will never leave the friendzone once there? Or is it because you are just upset that the person that you are interested in is not interested in you?

More often than not women are placed in the friendzone of the person that we are interested in. We watch them run after people who want nothing to do with them or who are just leading them on. We watch them fall apart when the person that they were after chooses someone else. We are almost always there to help pick up the pieces, even trying to keep the "I told you so"s down to a minimum while they lick their wounds and work on getting back to their true form. Do we complain? No...well...maybe to our girlfriends but never to you. We know better because we know that you have free-will and will choose to be with whomever fits your needs more. We understand that since we are the same way.

So why do you become overly upset when someone that you are interested in is not interested in you? Why does it seem like such a horrible thing for the person you like to choose someone other than you? Why is is not enough for you to have a loyal friend, who will be by your side whenever you need it? Why do you get so upset? We were not put on this Earth to be your plaything just like you were not put on this Earth to be our plaything.

Anyone who has ever given anyone a hard time for being put in the friendzone should buy a pair of big kid panties and get over it. This is life. Oh no, this person doesn't like me? Move on. There are billions of people on this Earth. Stop getting hung up over one and find a way to push forward and enjoy life without causing anyone trouble.

For those who have been put in the friendzone and don't care, thanks for being the true friend we all needed.

Making the Life You Want

Over the summer, Josh began his own dog walking business. It has brought quite a lot of opportunities to us, including making things (tug toys, leashes, paw protectors, and more). This has shown me something. This has shown me that we all have it in us to make the life that we want. We have the ability to turn our lives into everything we have ever dreamed of. We can have the big houses and the nice cars. We can have the cooks and cleaners to take care of all of the mundane tasks that we no longer want to do. We can all have the life of our favorite celebrities.

The thing is that we need to work on how we get to the place where we can have all of these things. We need to work on ourselves. Josh realized relatively early enough that he wanted out of the toxic family business and make a life for himself. It has taken us some time to feel secure, there are even moments when we don't, but we are working together to make his vision come true. Instead of allowing his family to try to keep dragging him under the currents, which they had successfully done to his brother, he has been working hard to make this business into everything that he wants and I have been doing everything that I can to help.

This has shown me what I, myself, am capable of. I've made tug toys, leashes, a protective wax for dog's paws (which is also GREAT for human's skin/lips), biscuits - and that's just for dogs! I have spent so much time doubting myself and worrying about things that I shouldn't be worrying about that this has allowed me to see where my priorities truly lie. If I can push myself to be better, to do better, what's stopping you?

We can all make it to that picture perfect life that we keep stored away in our heart. We can all make it to that point. You need to figure out the best way for you to make it to that point. What can you do to get there? Who can help keep you on the right path?

If you want the perfect life, you need to make the perfect life. Nothing is stopping you. Nothing is holding you back. Make the life you want.

Paw Protectors!

Today I made Paw Protectors! We, my fiance and I, will be selling them! They are perfect for furry friends (dogs and cats) to help protect their pads from road/sidewalk chalk and other dirt that they may pick up along the way. This wax is 100% non-toxic for animals and humans, alike, which is great since this amazing on dry skin/lips.

This was super easy to make and I enjoyed making it. There are so many different ways that I can take this recipe!

Maybe This Time I Can Commit

Multiple times now, I have tried to start a blog. I have started them for various reasons: work on my writing, use it as a diary with plenty of anonymous readers to either hinder or help me, use it as an escape. But I have never been able to actually keep up with it. I always let my blogs fall away into the eternal black hole of despair that is the internet. These blogs have fallen away to "due to the lack of activity, this account has been deactivated" messages that I have never seen or acknowledged since I had left these works of - not art... - shit to die. If they haven't been deactivated because somehow they have enough server space for them to not care if it has thousands of inactive accounts.

I want my writing - whether it be mindless rambling or an informative piece - to be and do more. I want my writing to show people that they are not alone in their feelings. I want my writing to spark a discussion in people. I do not want this blog to fall apart and lay forgotten without even having the chance to fly and soar. If that is what ends up happening to this blog, I apologize to anyone who has grown attached to this. If it continues to grow and spread, I hope that you all can enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Catie